Mixed Up Love
by WhyYouLittle35
Summary: In the lastest installment, everyone has random censor beeps in their speech. They must stop whoever is causing it. Read the story to find out the rest!
1. Love Birds

Cortex looked out the window of his space station, thinking up a new way to defeat the Bandicoots. It was too hard to destroy him now, I mean; he had too much good guys on his side, including Crunch.  
  
"There must be a way." Cortex said as he turned around.  
  
"Um, Dr. Cortex, can I have my lunch brake?" Dingodile said as he came up to Cortex.  
  
"Fine, take 5." Cortex sighed.  
  
"Thank you!" Dingodile said as he started walking off.  
  
"BUT THAT MACHINE BETTER BE READY BY SUNSET!!! YOU HAVE EXACTLY 6 HOURS!!!!" Cortex yelled as he slammed his hand on an escape-pod button. Dingodile waved bye, bye to him with an evil grin.  
  
"See you later boss!" Dingodile said as he jumped into Cortex's big red chair.  
  
"NO!" was what Dingodile last heard of him.  
  
"Crash, make yourself useful, and make me and Coca some lunch!" Coco yelled over to Crash, who was pretending to be a rock star, with a toothbrush for a microphone, and a tree branch for a guitar.  
  
"Fine." Crash said as he put his shoes on.  
  
"Dude, why don't you were a shirt?" Coca asked Crash.  
  
"Why do you hang-out with my sister?" Crash yelled over to him as he finished making his bed.  
  
"Because we love each other!" Coco and Coca said together as they held hands and kissed.  
  
"That is nasty!" Crash said as he got out some bread.  
  
"Yup, we're having our wedding this Friday!" Coco said excitedly.  
  
"What-ever." Crash said as he got out two plates.  
  
"Hey! What's happen?!" Crunch said as he walked into the house.  
  
"That was the best party of my life!" Crunch said as he walked into the kitchen.  
  
"How's the arm?" Crash asked as he looked at Crunch's robotic arm.  
  
"Pretty good!" Crunch said as he punched the wall.  
  
"I told you not to do that!" Aku-Aku said as he came out of his bedroom.  
  
"Hurry up with those sandwiches!" Coco yelled over to the kitchen.  
  
"I'll give them to them Crunch said with a grin.  
  
"I think I'll just bring it to them, thanks." Crash said as he walked into the living room and handed Coca and Coco their lunch.  
  
"Thanks Crash!" Coco said as she hugged Crash.  
  
"It's so nice to have a big brother like you!" Coco said as she giggled.  
  
"Yea, right." Crash said as he started walking to the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" Aku-Aku said as he went after Crash.  
  
"Just for a walk." Crash said as he opened the door and slammed it.  
  
"Well, I'm going to go take a nap." Crunch said as he went into his bedroom.  
  
"So, who's on our [Munch] guest list?" Coco said as she was eating.  
  
"We have, Cola, my sister, and that's all." Coca said with a frown.  
  
"Well, at least Crash, Crunch, and Aku-Aku will be there!" Trying to make the best of things.  
  
"So, he presses a button, and an escape-pod comes, and he goes into some jungle! HA!" Dingodile laughed as he was talking to N. Gin and Tiny.  
  
"HAHA! Little man go bye, bye! HAHA!" Tiny laughed stupidly.  
  
"Now we don't have a boss!" N. Gin said as Uka-Uka flew in.  
  
"Now I am your boss." Uka-Uka said as he glared at N. Gin.  
  
"H-h-h-hi si-s-s-sir." Dingodile said as he started sweating.  
  
"As your boss, I order you to find Dr. Cortex." Uka-Uka said as he flew over to the window then pressed a button that sent the space station flying down to Earth.  
  
"Well, I still have to get more cheese, but Super Jungle is fresh out! I can't have a cheese burger, if there isn't..." Crash was saying when the space station fell right in front of him.  
  
"There he is!!!" Tiny yelled when he saw Crash.  
  
"That's not him, numbskull! It's just... Crash Bandicoot." Dingodile said as he jumped out ready with a net.  
  
"Get him!" N. Gin yelled.  
  
"He sure went for a long walk!" Coca said as he and Coco shared a shake.  
  
"What's all the racket?!" Crunch said as he opened his door and wiped his eyes.  
  
"It looks like there was an explosion in the forest!" Aku-Aku said.  
  
"CRASH!" Crunch said as he jumped out the kitchen window.  
  
"WAIT!" Aku-Aku yelled after him, but he was gone.  
  
"So where is he, punk?" Dingodile said as he carried Crash into the station.  
  
"I have no idea of what you're talking about!" Crash said as he tried to struggle free of the net he was caught in.  
  
"Right, you'll just tell us later!" Dingodile said as he threw Crash in the cargo and sealed the door. 


	2. Hate To Break It To You

"Crash!" Crunch yelled.  
  
"Who's out here!?" Tiny said as he was getting near Crunch.  
  
"Me, Crunch." Crunch replied when Tiny came in sight.  
  
"Coca, I think it's best if you go home." Aku-Aku said as night fell.  
  
"He isn't going anywhere but into my bed tonight!" Coco said with a grin.  
  
"Yea." Coca said as everyone heard a big crash in the jungle.  
  
"Let me out of here!" Crash yelled.  
  
"Shut up in there!!!!!!" N. Gin yelled as he threw a rock at the chamber.  
  
"Tiny squish puny man!" Tiny sang.  
  
"PUNY?! You're calling this puny? Your nuts!" Crunch said as he practically strangled Tiny.  
  
"Ow." Tiny said as he fainted.  
  
"Crash must be in that space station that is now going back into space." Crunch said as he suddenly jumped on in time.  
  
(12:42 A.M.)  
  
"Z" was the sound Coco made as she was laying in her bed, with no boyfriend. Suddenly a figure cast a shadow; the shadow was holding something sharp. Coco opened her eyes and screamed to see her boyfriend with a knife!  
  
"What are you doing?" Coco said as she jumped up.  
  
"I was coming to see if you wanted a sandwich." Coca said as he held the knife behind his knife.  
  
"No thanks, you shouldn't even be up, it's way past your bedtime!" Coco said as she winked at him.  
  
"Right." Coca said as he walked out, closing the door behind him.  
  
The next morning, she sees 'Aku-Aku' laying on the ground with blood coming out of his mouth!  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Coco said as she ran to the door, which was locked. Then she ran to the window, but it had metal bars blocking the outside.  
  
"Help!" Coco yelled, when suddenly, Aku-Aku grabbed her and held her in the closet, with himself.  
  
"Coco, your boyfriend is a cereal killer!"  
  
"I can kinda see that!" Coco whispered.  
  
"Coco, do you want a sandwich?" Coca said as he walked past the closet.  
  
"We're here!" N. Gin said as he pushed Crash out of the chamber.  
  
"WOW! This space station is cooler then all the other ones!" Crash said as he looked around wondrously.  
  
"This is the bathroom." N. Gin said as he mumbled, "Idiot." When he was walking out.  
  
"You got 2 minutes!" Dingodile yelled to him, "I got my flamethrower right next to me, I'll be waiting!"  
  
"Don't worry Crash! I'll save you!"  
  
"Who's there?" Crash said as he looked around.  
  
"Crunch, I'm up in the vent right above the toilet." Crunch whispered, "But you better get in her before..." Crunch was saying to him, but Dingodile open the door and said, Times up!" with evil little grin.  
  
"Uh-oh!" Crash said as he dodged the flamethrower.  
  
"Do something Crunch!" Crash said as he turned around to see no Crunch in the vent! Suddenly, Crunch's robotic hand grabbed Dingodile's crocodile tale, and beaded him on the ground. Dingodile sat there unconscious with little flamethrowers circling around his head.  
  
"Great-job!" Crash said, "But can you untie me?"  
  
"Sure little buddy!" Crunch said as he Karate Punched down the rope, causing it to split, letting Crash free.  
  
"Lets go home." Crash said as he walked out with Crunch.  
  
Where do you think your going?" N. Gin said as he jumped in front of him.  
  
"HOME!" Crunch said as he punched N. Gin with his robotic hand.  
  
"Aku-Aku, we cant hind in here forever!" Coco whispered to Aku-Aku, who was half-asleep half-awake.  
  
"FIND YOU!" Coca said as he opened the door.  
  
"C'mon!" Coco said as she grabbed Aku-Aku by a feather.  
  
"Get back here!" Coca said as he chased them around the house.  
  
"Get away! Why are you willing to kill me?" Coco asked weakly.  
  
"Because, I kill people! It's my hobby! You're going to be my... 42nd victim!" Coca said as he held a sickle that was sharpened.  
  
"AHHH!" Coco yelled, when Aku-Aku jumped on her face and stuck to her.  
  
"I will protect you Aku-Aku said.  
  
"Thanks!" Coco said as she charged after Coca.  
  
"Tiny squish you!" Tiny said as he walked in with a cast-thingy around his neck. Crash did his spinning thing, and Tiny was too dizzy to fight.  
  
"Lets see, this button should bring us back home." Crash said as he pressed a button that said, Earth" on it.  
  
"I'll drive!" Crunch said as he pushed Crash out of the way.  
  
"This will help get a better chance at getting my license!" Crunch said as he started the space station.  
  
"Uh-oh." Crash said as he gulped. 


	3. My House Is Ruined!

(Lol, after a year, I read this, and its so funny! Anyways, let me continue the madness! Lol)

Coco went flying into Coca, and he went flying into the kitchen. He landed in the sink.

"Take this!" Coco said, turning on the hot water.

"AHH!" Coca yelled

"Hahahaha!" Aku-Aku and Coco laughed

"You'll be sorry!" Coca said as he got out of the sink, and took out a match. He lit it and set Aku-Aku on fire.

"AHHHHHHH!" Aku-Aku screamed.

"AHHHHHHH!" Coco joined in, for her face was on fire! They ran around, and bumbed into the wall. Coco fell, and Aku-Aku floated around.

"Had enough?" Coca said, as he whacked Aku-Aku with a baseball bat

"Oof!" Aku-Aku said, as he landed on the kitchen table

"AHHH! Coco screamed, running into the shower and turning the water on

"Ya-hoo!" Crunch yelled, as the space station headed for the world. It then crashed in the jungle, crushing some trees. Thbe trees were sent flying towards Crash's house.

"Nice going!" Crash said, running after him home. Crunch followed

"AHHH! ..ah…" Coco said, as her face cooled down. She sat on the toilet, when a tree crash into the wall, sending leaves to fly everywhere

"Gotcha!" Coca said, running into the bathroom, when a tree crash through the roof, and landed on his legs

"ACK!" He said, as he fell. He was stuck!

"I'll save you guys!" Crash said, running into the house, followed by Crunch

"Guys! We've got to get out of here!" Aku-Aku said, as more trees crashed into the house.

The house then collapsed. Aku-Aku protected them with a magical bubble.

"Thank you!" Coco said, hugging the mask, who was now burnt.

"This is all Crunch's fault!" Crash said, as Dingodile limbed into the rubble.

"Good day, mates!" He said, as he laughed, then threw some rocks at them.

"Ouch!" Coco said, as one hit her head, and she fell over

"Oof!" Crash said, as he got knocked into the chest

"Hiya!" Crunch said, swatting the rocks, reflecting them back to Dingodile.

"ACK!" He yelled, as a rock headed straight for him. He ducked, and the rock passed him.

"What the heck happened here!" Cortex said, walking up to the house. The rock then hit his head, and he fell over.

"Uh…good day!" Dingodile said, as he dragged Cortex back to the space station.

"That was weird…" Coco said, sitting up.

"Grr… hiya!" Coca said, throwing his knife after the three.

"Watch out!" Crunch said, tackling the knife in mid air. He bent it, and threw it into the jungle.

"You guys want some cookies for the wedding today?" A female bandicoot said walking up.

"Cola! Don't just sit there! Help me!" Coca said, sobbing.

"I'm Cola!" Cola said, as she moved the tree off of Coca.

"That's it!" Coca said, holding up the breathing troubled Crash up

"Nobody move, and this shirtless thing won't be harmed!" He said, holding up a sharp stick to his eyes.

"Crash!" Crunch said, punching Coca.

"AH!" Cola screamed, "My brother is a killer!" She then cried, and scampered off.

Just then, the space ship hovered over, and landed next to the house, creating the rubble to be sent flying everywhere. Tiny then leaped out, followed by N. Gin.

"Hahaha!" N. Gin laughed, as he threw some apples at them.

"An apple a day, keeps the Dr. Away!" Cortex called, as he came out.

"But I eat my vegetables all the time!" Crash yelled.

"You're hopeless…" Cortex said, throwing some rocks at them.

"MY HOUSE I BUILT IS RUINED!" Aku-Aku yelled.

"Dude, I built this house! You're just renting a room here, remember?" Crash said.

"Oh yeah, I just wanted to say something…heehee…" Aku-Aku replied.

"I'll will destroy you all with my newest creation! The Mega-Wotz Light Bulb!" Cortex screamed, as a giant lightbulb floated out of the space station, and shot at things.

"We must stop them!" Crunch yelled.


	4. Bad Guys Need Beach Days Too

"A giant light bulb?" Coco asked with a smirk. Crash was rolling on the ground laughing. Aku-Aku was having trouble holding in his laughter, and soon joined Crash on the ground.

"YES!" Cortex screeched. "We had a low budget this month, it was the best we could come up with…" He mumbled. "Now…ATTACK!"

Mega-Wotz floated over to Crash and began charging. It soon grew red and was shaking. Sparks were flying off of it.

"Goodbye," Cortex smiled as he waved at Crash, who was about to get vaporized, when suddenly…

A Wumpa fruit went flying into Mega-Wotz, smashed threw it and ended up plowing right through to the other side of the bulb, crashing out the opposite side if smashed in through. Mega-Wotz then exploded right on the spot.

"Wah!" Coco shielded her face with her arms as bits of glass were sent flying in all directions.

"WHO. THREW. THAT?!" Cortex's face grew red with fury.

"Me," Crunch said simply.

"I'll murder you Crunch!" Cortex said, whipping out his Ray Gun. Crunch quickly aimed a Wumpa fruit at the gun and threw it. The Wumpa fruit went flying into the gun, knocking it out of Cortex's grasp.

"Yeah? Well, you smell!" Cortex said quickly.

"Now what?" Dingodile asked.

All the evildoers looked over towards the sea.

"BEACH PARTY!!!" N. Gin called as all of the bad guys ran over to the beach.

"No!" Cortex called as they ran away. "Imbeciles!"

Uka-Uka came soaring from the sky wearing sunglasses and had sunscreen on.

"Let's play some volleyball!" He called as he flew over to the group of bad guys on the beach. Cortex's jaw dropped down to the ground in disbelief. "Mighty Uka-Uka? Are you…feeling okay?"

"Shut up, Cortex! I'm sun bathing over here!" Uka-Uka said from a red towel laid out on the sand that he was lying on.

"Ah!" Dingodile ran out of the water, "It's cold!"

"Tiny! I thought I told you to pack the sandwiches!" N. Gin said angrily.

Tiny was digging in the sand and looked up. He shrugged and N. Gin's missile began shooting fire out of its behind.

"I'M STARVING OVER HERE!" N. Gin yelled as he chased Tiny around. Dingodile was busy being chased by seagulls, and Uka-Uka was on fire. Literally.

"This is…weird…" Coco said as she, Crash, Crunch, and Aku-Aku stared at the bad guys having a beach day.

"You haven't seen the last of me!" Cortex said as he ran into the jungle.

"Did you say something?" Aku-Aku said slowly as they all continued to stare.

"My butt just did…" Crash mumbled. Everybody suddenly shot a glance at Crash with disgusted faces.

Meanwhile…deep in the jungle…

"STAY AWAY! NASTY BEES!" Cortex was being chased by a swarm of bees. He then ran into a stonewall and was unconscious. When he woke up, his face was burning and he had billions of bee stings.

"Jogo Mo Tu," Someone said behind him.

"WHOS THERE?!" Cortex quickly spun around. Papu Papu was standing there. "Not you again…"

Papu Papu stared at Cortex as two Tribesmen came in and picked Cortex up, quickly tied him up, and carried him off to a stone temple.

"Where are you taking me?!" Cortex shrieked.

The tribesmen threw him into the center of a stone room, and each placed a gem into little holes in the wall. When the two gems were placed, they shined. They were the eyes of a carved in, painted on face on the temple wall. Suddenly, it began thundering outside.

"What's going on?!" Cortex looked around the temple frantically. Tribesmen were chanting something weird from all directions, and all came into the temple, forming a circle around Cortex.

"Ahh!" Cortex yelped.

Papu Papu marched in looking very serious. Cortex was shaking, and loud thunder shook the temple. Papu Papu walked up to Cortex, turned around, pointed his butt in Cortex's face, and…

-BOOM!!!-


	5. A Flatulent Adventure

Papu Papu's great fart caused the temple's walls to crumble, and send Cortex flying backwards. The tribesmen quickly clapped before passing out. Papu Papu laughed; He was the only one who could survive the smell.

"AHA!" Cortex said happily. "I'll just hold my breath! Then I won't breathe in this horrible stench! Yup…. just stop my nose from breathing…" Cortex said slowly, getting light-headed. Eventually he had to breathe, and when he did, he fainted.

Meanwhile back at the beach…

"UKA-UKA!" Aku-Aku chased after Uka-Uka who was chasing after Crunch, who was chasing after Dingodile, who was chasing after Coco, who was chasing after Tiny, who was chasing after Crash, who was chasing after N. Gin.

"N. Gin!" Crash said angrily, catching up to him. "GIVE IT BACK!"

"They're mine! ALL MINE!" N. Gin laughed maniacally. Crash sped up and tackled N. Gin to the ground. Tiny then landed on Crash, followed by Coco, Dingodile, Crunch, Uka-Uka, and Aku-Aku.

"DOG PILE!!" Uka-Uka said happily.

"GIVE THEM BACK!" Crash said again.

"Never!" N. Gin said, "These sunglasses are mine!!" He held Crash's sunglasses up that he stole and began laughing again. But he stopped when Crash quickly snatched the sunglasses away from him.

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE NATIVE VILLAGE…

A green gas had filled the village and there was no sign of life except for Papu Papu's hut. He was busy eating meat. Cortex was tied to a tree outside. He finally came to his senses.

"Disgusting…" Cortex mumbled, struggling to get out of the ropes that had him tied to the tree. He eventually freed himself and crept around the village. Lots of tribesmen's bodies were scattered throughout the village. Cortex quickly escaped into the jungle.

Back at the beach…!

"Haha!" Uka-Uka laughed. "My sand castle is better than yours!"

"Shut up…" Crunch said quietly.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Uka-Uka said angrily, catching on fire again. He screamed and flew around in circles before plunging into the water. He then came back out looking dark and all burnt. Aku-Aku laughed and Uka-Uka shot a laser beam at him, setting Aku-Aku on fire. He screamed and flew into the water, and came out looking burnt too. Uka-Uka laughed at him.

"EW Crash? Did you fart again?!" Coco asked suddenly, holding her hand up to her nose. Crash shook his head no.

Aku-Aku looked over to the tree line of the jungle. He could see a green gas coming towards them.

"Oooh no! It cannot be! Evil come…"

"What? WHERE?! I'll show them who's the evil one around here!" Uka-Uka said angrily.

"It seems Papu Papu is up to his flatulent tricks again. He must be stopped," Aku-Aku said, flying towards the green gas. The moment he reached it, he screamed.

"EWWWWWWW!!! THIS SMELLS WORSE THAN UKA-UKA!!"

"Hey! I don't smell that bad! …Do I?" Uka-Uka asked.

Everybody around him nodded.

"Well…I guess it wouldn't hurt to bathe more than once every millennium…"

"You think?!" Coco asked.

"Uhh, somebody do something about the gas coming our way!" N. Gin said quickly. Everybody looked at Crash.

"Aw, why do I have to take care of this smelly business?"

"Cause we said so!" Dingodile said, pushing him towards the jungle.

"Ooh boy…" Crash said, entering the jungle. It smelled like a wet dog. He went further. Dirty feet. Further. Vinegar. Further. Rotten eggs.

"Dear lord!" Cortex called from somewhere in the jungle. "I can't go on! Stench…too…strong…" Cortex gasped for air before fainting. Crash found him in a patch of dirt.

"Cortex?" Crash asked. He dragged him out of the jungle, Cortex's head hitting rocks and plants on the way.

"There you are!!" Coco said frantically when Crash came out of the jungle.

"Cortex! Lying down on the job, are we?!" Uka-Uka floated over to Cortex and zapped him with a laser. Cortex shot up breathing quickly.

"The gas! It's coming!" Dingodile shrieked, pointing at the sky. It had gone from blue to green, and there was a nasty smell in the air.

"Quickly, everyone, into the spaceship!" Cortex called running over to the spaceship, but got run over by everybody else speeding into it. Cortex slowly pulled himself up and made it inside, just in time. He began pressing buttons, and the spaceship began flying away from N. Sanity Island.

"How far will the gas spread?!" Uka-Uka asked.

"It's probably stop spreading by the time it reaches the water," Coco told everyone, "It will eventually disappear completely."

"I've gotta use the bathroom…" Crash said stepping into the bathroom. "This is horrible!" Crash said to himself. "First my house, now this! What's next?! Coca make a come back after being absent from the last chapter?!"

"SURPRISE!" Coca said, his head popping out of the toilet.


	6. 200,000 Leagues Above And Under The Sea

"AHH!" Crash yelled. "Why'd you scare me like that?!"

"Well I couldn't just sit here while you dumped turds on me!"

"True."

"Yes. Now, prepare to fight!!"

"Ok!"

"Choose your weapon!" Coca said, hopping out of the toilet and grabbing a towel. "I shall whip you to death!" Coca said as he began cracking the towel.

"Oh yeah?" Crash grabbed a toilet scrubber. "This will chop you right in half."

They began to battle and made a mess, spilling toilet water everywhere, sending soap onto the walls and ceiling, and throwing toilet paper all over the place.

"Crash!" Cortex called from outside the door. "Let me in! Some of us have to pee too y'know!"

Coca saluted Crash before back flipping into the toilet and closing the lid as he did so.

"CRASH!" Cortex burst in.

"All yours!" Crash quickly ran out, closing the door behind him. Cortex began humming as he began relieving himself.

"AHHHHH!!!!!" Someone cried from the toilet. Cortex screamed, stopped relieving himself, zippered his pants, flushed, washed his hands, and quickly ran out.

"Cortex? What's wrong?" Aku-Aku asked.

"I got out of there as soon as I could! It was horrible! I didn't believe them when they told me about it!"

"Calm down!" Aku-Aku said quickly, "Believed who when they told you what?"

"It was back at the Academy of Evil…" Cortex began.

"WAIT," Dingodile said before Cortex started telling the story. "Lemme make some popcorn!"

A few minutes later

Dingodile walked in with a bowl of popcorn.

"Anyway, it was back at the Academy of-"

"Anybody want some?!" Dingodile asked with a mouth full of popcorn.

"AS I WAS SAYING," Cortex said angrily, "IT WAS BACK AT-"

"I'll take some!" Coco said taking some.

"Me too!" Crunch took a hand full.

"Don't mind if I do!" Aku-Aku went for some, but Cortex slapped the bowl out of Dingodile's hand.

"What'd you do that for?!" Uka-Uka asked.

"FORGET THE POPCORN!! CAN I JUST TELL ME STORY?!" Cortex screamed.

"…Somebody's a grumpy goose!" Dingodile muttered.

"Fine, go on," Aku-Aku said.

"Thank you. It was back at the Academy of Evil…I was eight years old, and the most popular student at the academy-"

"WAIT!" Crash interrupted him.

"What is it?" Cortex asked through gritted teeth.

"Is this that story about Victor and Moritz?"

"Of course not you fool!" Cortex rolled his eyes, "Just let me tell the story! I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD, AND WAS THE MOST POPULAR STUDENT AT THE ACADEMY-"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING?!" Uka-Uka hollered.

Cortex quickly turned red and made his hands into fists. "FINE! SOME BULLY'S TOLD ME SOME TOILET MAN WOULD GET ME SOMEDAY AND NOW IT'S COME TRUE!!"

"Toilet…man…?" Coco asked confused.

"Coca is in the toilet," Crash said.

"AHH!! He'll kill all of us!" Coco began panicking and went for the escape pod but Coca was standing there blocking it.

"AHH!" Cortex screamed.

"When did you get there?" Crunch asked.

"When Dingodile was making popcorn," Coca said with a smirk.

"Figures…" Dingodile said.

"Yep, and now I'm here to kill you all!" Coca held up Cortex's ray gun.

"HOLD THE PHONE!" Cortex said, "When did you acquire THAT?"

"I picked it up when nobody was looking after Crunch knocked it out of your hand," Coca said, smiling at Crunch.

"WAIT! Let me see that! If you're going to kill us, you'll have to know how to turn it on! It's voice activated, let me turn it on," Cortex held his hand out, hoping to fool Coca.

"Ok!" Coca tossed the ray gun at him.

Cortex tried to catch it but ending up dropping it, and when it fell it shot out a laser beam at Uka-Uka, who was busy picking at popcorn on the floor. When he got shot he was set on fire.

"NOT AGAIN!" He flew around frantically, and crashed into a big red button. Suddenly, everything in the spaceship shut off.

"Uh-oh," Cortex said.

The spaceship plummeted down to the sea, and when it crashed, it created a huge splash. It began to sink.

"See you around, Bandicoots! And mask!" Cortex said as he, and his henchmen all had on scuba outfits. Tiny ran over to the exit door and quickly flung it open. A wall of water plowed into him and knocked him over. Water was now flooding the spaceship.

"Crash! What do we do?!" Crunch asked.

"Coco! What do we do?!" Crash asked.

"Aku-Aku! What do we do?!" Coco asked.

"Quickly, children, huddle around!" Aku-Aku created magical bubbles for each of them. Coca screamed and ran around. He didn't have any magical bubbles or scuba gear. He quickly ran into the escape pod and it shot out with him in it. It then went crashing into the sea floor. So much for that plan.

Meanwhile, the Bandicoots and Aku-Aku were all floating up to the surface, with the bad guys in hot pursuit.

"Come back here!" Uka-Uka called.

"Wait!" Cortex said suddenly. "My ray gun!" He quickly swam down to the space station and retrieved it, then came up to the surface where an epic battle took place: The bad guys poked the magical bubbles, causing them to pop, and the good guys dunked the bad guys after ripped their scuba gear off. Yep. Really epic.

"Muahahahaha! You shall lose and we shall win!" Uka-Uka said.

"Real mature!" Coco said.

Uka-Uka took one look at her and zapped her with a laser beam.

"That'll shut her up…" Uka-Uka muttered and they continued to battle.


	7. Sorta Stranded

"Enough!" Uka-Uka said finally. "We shall prove if good or evil is stronger in a series of mini-games-"

"No!" Aku-Aku said at once. "We've been down that road and you tricked us! Shame on you!"

"Shame on YOU!" Uka-Uka said.

"No you!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

As the two masks argued, everyone swam back to an island shore.

"Where are we?" N. Gin asked, looking up the waterfall they were by. There were crumpled ruins at the top.

"I think…" Coco began but Ripper Roo hopped out of the bushes laughing.

"Whoa!" Dingodile jumped back.

"Yup, it's the second island," Coco said.

"Don't worry, it's just Ripper Roo!" Cortex said with a smile. "He can't harm you at all-" Cortex was in mid-sentence when Ripper Roo's razor sharp nails clawed at his face.

Everybody stared, and then ran in all different directions screaming.

"MY FACE!! MY BEE STINGS!! IT ALL BURNS!!!" Cortex screamed as he ran and tripped into the water, landing face first on a rock.

"MY PEEF!" Cortex said, his teeth knocked out. (They grew back five seconds later.)

MEANWHILE UNDER THE SEA…

Coca was swimming to the surface for his dear life, and when he made it to the top, he had to listen to bickering masks. How fun.

MEANWHILE ON THE SECOND ISLAND…

Everyone was working together to build a lovely little hut. When Cortex was adding the last leaf on the top for the roof, Ripper Roo popped out of the bushes and plowed right into the hut, making it collapse.

"You idiot!" Cortex yelled. Ripper Roo clawed his face again.

While Cortex was running around screaming as Ripper Roo chased him, everyone began working on the hut again.

"How are we all supposed to fit in here?" N. Gin asked when they were finished.

"We're not!" Crunch said as him, Coco, and Crash all ran into the hut, closing the door behind them.

"Let us in!" N. Gin started pounding on the door, and the hut collapsed again.

"Nice going!" Dingodile said, staring at N. Gin.

"AHHH!!" Cortex ran right into the remains of the hut and tripped, landing face first into the sand.

"Great, there's going to be a storm!" Coco said, pointing at the darkening sky.

MEANWHILE IN THE SEA…

"YOU!" Uka-Uka screamed.

"NO!!! YOU!!!!" Aku-Aku screamed louder.

"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN FIGHTING ABOUT?!" Coca yelled.

"Uhh…I don't remember," Uka-Uka said.

"Me either. Wanna get some pizza or something?" Aku-Aku asked.

"…No."

"Fine, no pizza for you!" Aku-Aku said as it started down pouring.

"Can we please go now?" Coca asked impatiently.

"Who was stopping you?" Aku-Aku asked.

"…Good question."

Uka-Uka created a shield around himself and flew to the second island, followed by Aku-Aku, who was in a magical bubble.

"Don't just leave me!" Coca called after them, but they ignored him. "Lousy masks…" Coca said to himself as he swam to the island.

LATER THAT NIGHT…

"I'm cold," Cortex said as everyone was huddled together in a cave.

"I'm furious!" Uka-Uka said, turning to Cortex. "This is all your fault! We wouldn't be stuck here in this cave while there was a storm outside if it wasn't for you!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault?!" Cortex asked angrily.

"YES!" Uka-Uka yelled.

"Guys!" Coco said, stepping in between them, "Stop bickering! We need to work together if we're going to survive out here!"

Uka-Uka stared at her for a moment before blasting her with his laser vision, yet again. She fell to the ground, twitching.

"I'm hungry, we should send somebody out there to get some food!" Crash said.

"Dingodile has a flamethrower! Let's send him!" N. Gin said quickly.

"Uhh uhh," Dingodile hesitated, "The water will just put my fire out before it does anything, let's send Crunch out! He's strong!"

"Nobody's going out there but Aku-Aku!" Uka-Uka said.

"What?!" Aku-Aku turned to Uka-Uka. "No way, Jose!"

"My name's Uka-Uka! What a moron!"

Suddenly, Ripper Roo came hopping in, soaking wet, and laughing hysterically.

"Down, boy, down!" Cortex said, taking a step back from him. His face then got clawed again.

"Looks like we'll just starve to death then!" N. Gin said.

"Yep," Uka-Uka said, "So everybody stop your complaining if you're just gonna sit here and do nothing!"

"Well, I guess now would be a good time to go to sleep…" Aku-Aku said.

"Yes. I need my beauty sleep," Uka-Uka said, and the two masks dropped down to the ground, snoring.

Eventually everyone else fell asleep too…well…almost everyone…for there was still one animal left out there in the storm…


	8. The Cortex Censor Machine's Revealed

Coca stayed in a cave close by the other cave where everyone else was.

By the next morning, the storm had passed. It was only a minor thunderstorm, nothing major.

"What a glorious morning!" Aku-Aku said, rising from the ground.

"What's so glorious about it?" Uka-Uka asked, also rising up. "I don't have any coffee!"

"Uka-Uka, you know what coffee does to you…" Aku-Aku said as everybody else sat up, rubbing his or her eyes.

"I DON'T CARE IF IT GIVES ME DIARREAH!!!" Uka-Uka screamed. His expression suddenly changed from angry to shocked. He looked around and stared at everyone who was awake. They just stared back, silent and wide-eyed. "Uhh…did I just scream that out loud?"

"Kind of," Coco replied.

Uka-Uka stared at her for a moment before blasting her with his laser vision again.

"EEK!" She shrieked as she fell over, burnt.

"Why don't we go collect wumpa fruit?" Aku-Aku suggested. Everyone agreed and split up all over the island; Crash searched around the lava caves, Crunch and N. Gin searched around Ripper Roo's temple, Dingodile and Tiny looking around the lost city, Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka around the beach area on one side of the island, Cortex on the other (Ripper Roo found him and clawed his face), and Coco searched on an old bridge. Coca was lurking close-by on the bridge, and was about to capture Coco when a board beneath him broke and he fell, letting out a scream. This startled Coco and she alerted Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka to round everybody up. Everyone came back soon after the two went to get them, each having some wumpa fruit.

"What is it?" N. Gin asked.

"I THINK COCA IS BACK!" Coco screeched.

"But-but-" Cortex stuttered, "But that's impossible! We saw the escape pod he took crash into the ocean floor!"

"Did anybody else know he survived?!" Dingodile asked. Everybody but Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka shook their heads no.

"Well?" Coco asked impatiently. "Did you or did you not?"

"We…err…May of known…" Aku-Aku mumbled.

"Well, who cares?! You know he's back now and he didn't do any harm!" Uka-Uka said.

"Tiny squish bandicoot!" Tiny said, cracking his knuckles.

"Now Tiny," Cortex said, his face bleeding to death, "Normally I would tell you to calm down or something, but in this case, I'm telling you straight forward to get him and rip his beeping guts out!"

"Whoa!" Crunch said. "Did you hear that?!"

"That beep?" Uka-Uka asked. "I head it and I don't like it! What did you say, Cortex?"

"beeping?"

"There it is again!" Dingodile said.

"Everyone, are you really that thick?" Coco asked. "It's obviously a censor."

"A what?" N. Gin asked.

"A censor."

"And what is this 'censor'? Is it evil? Cause then I shall destroy it!" said Uka-Uka.

"No, it's actually supposed to be good," Coco replied.

"Good? Then I shall destroy it!"

"Anyway, a censor is something that is added so something is not too inappropriate. Saying things such as beep or beep can cause a beep to be added over it. Or the whole word can just be silenced all together. Basically, if you say a bad word it can be censored, like Cortex over here."

"But I didn't say a bad word!" Cortex said, looking around at everyone.

"You obviously did, you beep," Coco said then gasped and quickly covered her mouth.

"What did you say, Coco?" Aku-Aku asked.

"I said beep! It isn't a bad word!"

"Hmm…" Cortex said.

"Hmm?" Uka-Uka asked.

"I think I know what is causing this beep," Cortex said slowly.

"Yes?" N. Gin asked.

"I have this cool machine in my iceberg lab! It has the power to create censor beeps when people are talking!"

"And why?" Crunch asked.

"Because I'm cool like that!"

"So what are we going to do about it?" Uka-Uka asked.

"We must build ourselves a ship using tools and materials found on this island, go to my iceberg lap, go through a series of traps I recently added, find the machine, see who is messing around with it, and fix it! Oh, and attack the person."

"This is stupid, even for _this _story…" Crunch mumbled as everyone scattered around searching for parts for their boat.

After several hours they constructed a nice, large, luxurious boat. Just kidding. All they came up with was three planks of wood (courtesy of the run down bridge) tied together with long vines.

"I don't think we'll all fit on this…" Crash said as the bad guys pushed it out into the water.

"You're not supposed to!" Cortex laughed as him and the rest of the bad guys jumped on it. They continued laughing as they floated away. That is, until the planks snapped in half and a huge wave sent them all face first onto the shore.

"Now who's laughing?" Coco said smugly.

"I am!" Uka-Uka said, and he began laughing. "Why am I tagging along? I can just float away and leave you all stranded!"

"Uka-Uka! Wait! Divided we are but two magical masks. Join me brother, and together we shall destroy the Cortex Censor Machine!"

"That sounds familiar…" Crash said.

"He stole that from Crash Twinsanity!" Cortex said, rolling his eyes.

"Technically not, since I'm the one who said those _almost _exact words," Aku-Aku said.

"Fine," Uka-Uka said and the two flew away towards the iceberg lab.

"Finally!" Aku-Aku quickly said, "Let's ditch 'em!" The two made sure no one was watching and quickly flew away, neither in the direction of the iceberg lab or Second Island.

Cortex then looked back over and saw them leaving.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE!!" He screamed. Ripper Roo then hopped over.

"What do you want?" Dingodile asked.

Ripper Roo hopped on Dingodile's head while laughing hysterically, then quickly hopped away.

"Why I ought a-Hey! Come back here!" Dingodile chased Ripper Roo, and everyone followed. Ripper Roo brought them to boat that was made out of wood and carved beautifully.

"Where did this come from?" Cortex asked.

Ripper Roo laughed hysterically and hopped over to a bunch of tools.

Everyone gasped.

"_YOU_ MADE THIS?" Cortex asked, astounded.

Ripper Roo nodded and hopped into the boat.

"Aw, I think he wants to come with us!" Coco said.

"Absolutely not!" Cortex said at once. His face got clawed. "On second thought…"

And so everyone, including Ripper Roo, headed for the iceberg lab to put a stop to this beeping censor business. Hey! It happened to me too! WAH.

!Please Stand By As Chapter 9 Makes Its Way To FanFiction!


End file.
